“Because children adopt behaviours they observe, if important figures model self-loathing —for example, regularly making comments such as “I can’t believe I did that! I’m so dumb.”

Choosing Therapy - Shame: Definition, Examples, Causes, & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Grounding Techniques: 30 Examples & How They Help

Choosing Therapy - The 54321 Method: Benefits & How to Use It

Choosing Therapy - Social Anxiety Disorder: Signs, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Meditation: Benefits, How It Works, & Exercises to Try

Choosing Therapy- Covert Narcissists: Traits, Signs, & How to Deal With One

Choosing Therapy - Mindfulness: Exercises, Techniques, & How to Practice

Choosing Therapy - Depression: Types, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Depression Symptoms, Signs, & What to Watch For

Choosing Therapy - Teen Depression: Signs, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Crippling Depression: Definition, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Teenage Angst: Causes, Getting Help, & 10 Ways to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Anxiety in Teens: What It Looks Like, Causes, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Generalised Anxiety Disorder: Symptoms, Signs & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Stress Vs. Anxiety: Understanding the Difference

Choosing Therapy - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: How It Works & What To Expect

Choosing Therapy - School Stress: Symptoms, Causes, & How to Deal With It

Choosing Therapy - Major Depressive Disorder: Types, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Depression & Weight Gain: Connection & Management

Choosing Therapy - Alzheimer’s & Depression: Signs, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Apathy: Signs, Causes, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Mental Exhaustion: Symptoms, Signs, & Treatment

Choosing Therapy - Exercise & Mental Health: What Are the Benefits?

Choosing Therapy - Natural Sleep Aids & Supplements

Choosing Therapy - ADHD Symptoms in Kids: Everything You Need to Know

“Inattentive ADHD: Symptoms of inattentive ADHD in children generally present as distractibility and difficulties focusing.”

“Hyperactive/impulsive ADHD: Hyperactive and impulsive behaviour in ADHD may present as restlessness and fidgeting.”

“Combined ADHD: A combined presentation includes symptoms of both inattentiveness and hyperactivity.”

Choosing Therapy - How Does Sleep Affect Mental Health?

Choosing Therapy - Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): Definition, Signs, & Strengths

Choosing Therapy - Why Am I So Emotional? 16 Reasons You Feel This Way

Choosing Therapy - 12 Tips to Prevent Emotional Burnout

Choosing Therapy - Brain Fog: Symptoms, Causes, & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Depression & Anger: Connections & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Depression vs. Sadness: Understanding the Differences

Choosing Therapy - Depression: Types, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, & Treatment

Choosing Therapy - Reassurance in Relationships: Examples, How to Get It, & How to Give It

Choosing Therapy - How to Stop Negative Self-Talk: 11 Tips

Choosing Therapy - Anxiety Disorders: Types, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Perfectionism & Procrastination: Understanding the Connection

Choosing Therapy - Grounding Techniques: 30 Examples & How They Help

Choosing Therapy - Sadness: Causes, Getting Help, & 10 Ways to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Breathwork: How It Works, Effectiveness, & Tips for Getting Started

Choosing Therapy - Emotional Numbness: Symptoms, Causes, & Treatment

Choosing Therapy - ADHD & Brain Fog: Understanding the Connection

Choosing Therapy - Chronic Stress: Definition, Symptoms, & Examples

Choosing Therapy - Men & Anger: Causes, Signs, & Anger Management Tips

Choosing Therapy - Anger Management for Women: 15 Techniques That Work

The colours used in the Zones of Regulation include: (none gender specific)

Red zone – Stop: The red zone includes emotions such as anger, panic, or terrified.

Yellow – Slow down: Yellow represents feelings of worry or frustration and excitement or silliness.

Green zone – Optimal: This is where you feel calm, happy, and able to practice effective communication and problem-solving.

Choosing Therapy - Understanding Why Anger Is a Secondary Emotion

Choosing Therapy - Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: What They Are & How to Stop Using Them

Choosing Therapy - Rumination: Definition, Causes, & 10 Tips to Stop

Choosing Therapy - Toxic Stress: Definition, Causes, & Treatment

Choosing Therapy - Childhood Emotional Neglect: Signs, Effects, & How to Heal

Choosing Therapy - Neuroticism: Definition, Examples, & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Fight-or-Flight Response: Definition, Examples, & How to Calm It

Choosing Therapy - 3 Types of Stress: Causes, Effects, & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Anxiety Disorders: Types, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Grief vs. Depression: Understanding the Difference

Choosing Therapy - Intermittent Explosive Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Childhood Emotional Neglect: Signs, Effects, & How to Heal

Choosing Therapy - Catastrophising: Definition, Causes, & How to Stop

Choosing Therapy - Insomnia: Symptoms, Causes, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Catastrophising: Definition, Causes, & How to Stop

Choosing Therapy - Mom Burnout: Symptoms & How to Recover

Choosing Therapy - Dysfunctional Family: Signs, Causes, & How to Cope

References 6: (Types of Narcissism)

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Signs, Symptoms, & Treatments (Types)

“Extreme sensitivity to criticism, rejection, and negative feedback.”

“Inflated sense of self or confidence.”

“Inability to take responsibility for actions.”

“Tendency to make everything about themselves.”

“Projection of anger and blame onto others.”

Choosing Therapy - Malignant Narcissist: Traits, Signs, Causes, & How to Deal With One

Choosing Therapy - Vindictive Narcissists: 10 Signs & How to Handle One

Choosing Therapy - Cerebral Narcissists: Signs, Symptoms & How to Deal With One

Cerebral Vs. Covert Narcissism

"Whereas cerebral narcissists capitalise on their intellect, covert narcissists tend to be more focused on emotional manipulation. They are more subtle than cerebral narcissists with their narcissistic behaviours, thoughts, and feelings. Furthermore, they may appear highly stressed and worried, yet shy, reserved, and self-deprecating."

Choosing Therapy - Covert Narcissists: Traits, Signs, & How to Deal With One

Choosing Therapy - Spiritual Narcissists: 12 Signs & How to Deal With One

Choosing Therapy - Somatic Narcissists: Definition, Signs, & How to Deal With One

Choosing Therapy - Grandiose Narcissism: What It Is, Signs, & How to Deal With It

Choosing Therapy - Vulnerable Narcissists: 14 Signs & How to Deal With One

Choosing Therapy - Antisocial Personality Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, & Treatments

References 7: (Magical Thinking)

Psychology Today - Magical Thinking

Choosing Therapy - Cognitive Distortions: Types, Examples, & Causes

Business Insider - Superstitions and rituals that take over your life

Choosing Therapy - What Is Magical Thinking?

Choosing Therapy - Cognitive Distortions

Choosing Therapy - Low Self-Esteem: Signs, Causes, & How to Cope

PsychCentral - Demystifying Magical Thinking

Healthline - Ta-Da! Magical Thinking Explained

VeryWellMind - Magical Thinking in Generalised Anxiety Disorder

News Medical - Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (magical thinking)

Medium - Narcissists And “Magical Thinking”: An Avoidance Of Shame

References 8: (Abuse & Cluster B Behaviours)

Choosing Therapy - Going No Contact With a Narcissist: Everything You Need to Know

Benefits of Going No Contact With a Narcissist

When possible, no contact with a narcissist allows you to safely protect yourself from further gaslighting, blaming, and invalid criticisms. Cutting communication with them offers a chance to check your own reality against their past distortions. You may prevent additional injury to your self-esteem and regain your sense of self

Choosing Therapy - DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Enablers: How to Recognise & Deal With One

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Triangulation: Definition, Examples, & How to Respond

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Smear Campaign: What It Is, Tactics, & How to Deal With It

Choosing Therapy - Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Definition, Examples & How to Deal

PsychCentral - The 4 Stages of the Cycle of Abuse: From Tension to Calm and Back

Choosing Therapy - Delusions of Grandeur: Definition, Types, & Treatments

Psychology Today - The Risk Factors for Continuing the Cycle of Abuse

Choosing Therapy - Emotional Manipulation: Signs & How to Cope

Mayoclinic - Narcissistic Personality Disorder

“Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.”

“Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.”

“Expect special favours and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.”

“Take advantage of others to get what they want.”

“Have an inability or unwillingness to recognise the needs and feelings of others.”

Choosing Therapy - Setting Boundaries: 15 Healthy Tips for Success

Choosing Therapy - Dysfunctional Family: Signs, Causes, & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - 18 Signs of Toxic Parents & How to Deal With Them

Choosing Therapy - Love Bombing: Definition, Signs, & How to Heal

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Injury: Definition, Signs, & Examples

Choosing Therapy - Trauma Bonding: Definition, Signs, & How to Break One

Choosing Therapy - What Is a Narcissistic Abuse Cycle & How Does It Work?

Choosing Therapy - Controlling Parents: 21 Signs & How to Deal With Them

Choosing Therapy -Golden Child Syndrome: 8 Characteristics and How to Overcome It

Choosing Therapy - What Is a Narcissistic Family Structure? 10 Signs & How to Deal

Choosing Therapy - What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)?

Choosing Therapy - Childhood Trauma: Types, Causes, Signs, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - 9 Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics & How to Deal

Psychology Today - The Gullibility of the Narcissist: What You Need to Know

Choosing Therapy - Borderline Personality

Choosing Therapy - Family Scapegoat: Signs, Effects, & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - What to Know About a BPD “Favorite Person” Relationship

Choosing Therapy - What Is BPD Splitting? Signs, Effects & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - How to Help Someone With BPD: 20 Ways to Offer Support

Good Therapy - What Is Enmeshment Trauma?

Choosing Therapy - Dysfunctional Family: Signs, Causes, & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Signs of a Borderline Mother & How to Heal

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Signs, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Breaking Up With a Narcissist: 5 Tips & What to Expect

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Projection: 6 Examples & How to Respond

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Gaslighting: What It Is, Signs, & How Cope

Choosing Therapy - The Effects of Living With a Narcissistic Sibling & 5 Ways to Deal With Them

Choosing Therapy - People Pleaser: Definition, Signs, & How to Stop

Choosing Therapy - Emotional Incest: Definition, Signs, & Effects in Adulthood

Generalised Anxiety Disorder: Symptoms and DSM-5 Diagnosis

Psychology Today - Amoral

WebMd - Narcissism Symptoms Signs

Healthline - How to Deal with a Narcissist

Mind Body Green - 14 Signs Of Narcissism

Psychology Today - 6 Reasons Ghosting Is So Common

Psychology Today - Toxic Workplaces: A Survival Guide

References 9: (ACE’s)

Choosing Therapy - What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)?

The initial study identified 10 ACEs:

Physical abuse

Emotional Abuse

Physical neglect

Emotional neglect

Growing up in a home with substance abuse

Sexual trauma

Exposure to mother being treated violently

Parental divorce

Parental incarceration

Household member with mental illness

Choosing Therapy - Childhood Trauma: Types, Causes, Signs, & Treatments

Childhood trauma involves the following components:

The event: The “event” is the traumatic experience that occurs during childhood, which could include physical or emotional abuse, neglect, or exposure to violence.

The experience: The experience of childhood trauma usually involves feelings of powerlessness, fear, and a lack of safety or stability.

The effect: The effect of childhood trauma is how the child responds to the event. Some may learn to cope with trauma, while others may develop childhood PTSD, anxiety, depression, or self-destructive behaviours.

Choosing Therapy - Setting Boundaries: 15 Healthy Tips for Success

References 10: (Splitting)

BetterHelp - Splitting Psychology

VeryWellMind- Splitting and Borderline Personality Disorder

Medical News Today - What is splitting in borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

TWS - How to Deal with Splitting Behavior

VeryWellMind - BPD Splitting: Meaning, Triggers, and Treatment

Psychology Today - Splitting: It’s Not Just for Borderline Personality

HealthLine - What Is Splitting in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

PrioryGroup - What is splitting in emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD)?

Counselling Directory - Navigating extremes: Psychological splitting

Leaf - BPD Splitting: Symptoms and Causes

Psychology Today - Splitting in Borderline Personality Disorder

“Splitting behaviour is a primitive defence mechanism to feel "safe” when feeling threatened, scared, or feeling judged or misunderstood.”

“Splitting is not limited to persons with BPD, but can be seen in people with pathological narcissism.”

Choosing Therapy - What Is BPD Splitting? Signs, Effects & How to Cope

"Anniversaries or seasons: The time of year, temperature, and anniversaries of significant events can be triggers. People with BPD may consciously or unconsciously experience these, but either way, BPD splitting may commence."

"Maintain boundaries: Boundaries are meant to safeguard your well-being and the relationship with the BPD person. It’s crucial to stick to these, and if lines are continuously crossed or abusive behaviour emerges, it’s best to distance yourself."

"Experiencing trauma: Trauma survivors live and react to the world differently than those who don’t go through trauma, however that means they may be more sensitive to environmental triggers."

References 11: (digital)

Choosing Therapy - Cyberbullying: Types, Effects, & How To Get Help (Read full essay)

46% of teens in the U.S. have been bullied or harassed online and experienced at least one type of cyberbullying

Threats of violence

Sending sexually explicit messages or photos

Stalking and hate crimes

1. Harassment

This is the most common form of cyberbullying, and is when someone (or a group of people) repeatedly sends messages, calls, or emails to you with a malicious or threatening intent.

2. Cyberstalking

Cyberstalking is similar to harassment, as there is persistence in the perpetrator’s behaviors to attempt to reach their victim.

Signs someone you know is being cyber bullied could include:

Becoming worried or stressed about engaging in online activities

Isolating from others (online community, video games, etc.)

A child being scared of going to school

References 12: (Manipulative Emotional Abuse - Read full essays)

Choosing Therapy - Control Issues: Signs, Causes, & Ways to Overcome

Choosing Therapy - 14 Tips for How to Deal With a Narcissist

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Projection: 6 Examples & How to Respond

2. They Claim You Are Narcissistic

Due to their lack of self-awareness, inability to self-reflect, and their high tendency to project, many narcissists do not know they are narcissistic. Instead, they will project these traits onto someone else. Being accused by a narcissist that you are the one who is narcissistic can be frustrating and oddly confusing.

Choosing Therapy - What Is a Narcissistic Abuse Cycle & How Does It Work?

Love-bombing

Lack of boundaries

A sense of ownership of the partner and relationship

Increasing criticism and insults

Narcissistic gaslighting

Narcissistic triangulation

Increased control over their partner

Withholding physical, emotional, and sexual intimacy

Feelings of contempt and rage

Invalidating their partner’s emotions

Placing the blame on their partner

Playing the victim

Physical, emotional, and verbal abuse

Lying or exaggerating about your behaviour to others to have those people reach out to you on their behalf

Showing up at your work or home

Choosing Therapy - DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender

DARVO, meaning “Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender,” summarises a consistent reaction and manipulation tactic used by perpetrators of abuse or other types of wrongdoing.

It works by shifting the focus away from the original issue and attacking the actual victim.

It attempts to switch the roles of victim and perpetrator to allow the actual offender to receive sympathy and compassion, publicly or privately, as well as to avoid consequences for their actions.

“This situation never happened.”

“I never did that.”

“This is a lie.”

“I’m a good person who couldn’t engage in this kind of behaviour.”

“You’re crazy.”

“You’re a psycho.”

3. Reverse Victim & Offender

Perhaps the most fascinating element of DARVO is the attempt of the perpetrator to switch roles with the victim. Rather than accepting responsibility for their actions, they aim to make the original victim into the perpetrator.

This reversal is done in many ways depending on the situation and accusation. At times, the attempt seems to lack outward validity and rationality, but that part seems unimportant. Many aspects of DARVO rely on feelings more than facts.

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Smear Campaign: Examples & How to Deal With It

Targeting their own family is not off limits when a narcissist feels wronged. A narcissistic parent might use a smear campaign against an estranged child or the family scapegoat in order to distract others from the family dysfunction or to discredit any allegations of abuse or trauma.

Choosing Therapy - Emotional Abuse: Signs, Types, & How to Deal With It

Narcissistic Smear Campaign: Examples & How to Deal With It

Choosing Therapy - Gaslighting: Signs, Examples, & How to Respond

Choosing Therapy - Jealousy: Definition, Causes, & Ways to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Definition, Examples & How to Deal

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Signs, Symptoms, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Abuse: Signs, Effects, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Dysfunctional Family: Signs, Causes, & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Control Issues: Signs, Causes, & Ways to Overcome

Choosing Therapy - 9 Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics & How to Deal

4. Projection

When someone is unable to handle their negative feelings or acknowledge their bad behaviors, they may project them onto someone else. In these cases, the recipient of their narcissistic projection is usually accused of doing the very same things that the individual is doing themselves.

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Triangulation: Definition, Examples, & How to Respond

Triangulation is commonly used for reasons, such as:

Distracting from the real issue or argument

Tipping the scales of the argument in one person’s favour

Reinforcing one person’s sense of superiority

Attempting to resolve the argument through the third person

Diverting some of the stress from the argument onto the third person

1. Recognise When Triangulation Is Happening

The first step to shifting the triangulation pattern is to recognise when you’re pulled into a toxic triangle. Understanding that this is a narcissistic manipulation tactic can help release some of the guilt they may put on you.

7. Know When to Leave the Relationship

Unfortunately, narcissistic personality disorder is a lifelong diagnosis that is hard to treat. Unless they are willing to work directly on how they’re contributing to triangulation, you may have little ability to change the relational dynamic. If this relationship impacts your mental health and functioning, it may be time to consider leaving. Preparing yourself for breaking up with a narcissist and what to expect at the end of a narcissistic relationship can help you navigate this challenging situation.

Choosing Therapy - Emotional Manipulation: Signs & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - 18 Signs of a Controlling Wife & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - 20 Signs of a Controlling Husband & How to Cope

Choosing Therapy - Trauma Bonding: Definition, Signs, & How to Break One

Choosing Therapy - Breaking Up With a Narcissist: 5 Tips & What to Expect

Choosing Therapy - What a Narcissist Does at the End of a Relationship

Choosing Therapy - 16 Signs of Narcissistic Abuse & Victim Syndrome

Choosing Therapy - How To Tell If Your Partner Is Lying About Cheating

Examples of emotional abuse include:

Controlling

Silent treatment

Name calling

Gaslighting

Shaming

Blaming

Hoovering

Withholding affection

Threatening

Invalidating

Guilt-tripping

Accusing

Humiliation

Examples of emotional abuse related to criticism include:

Name calling

Diminishing accomplishments

Criticizing actions, points of view, or beliefs

Put-downs

Character attacks

Stage 1: Flattery

Stage 2: Isolation

Stage 3: Devaluing & Gaslighting

Stage 4: Fear or Violence

1. Gaslighting

2. Triangulation

3. Projection

4. Controlling Your Life

5. Name-Calling

6. Generalizations

7. Moving the Goal Posts

8. Love Bombing

9. Changing the Subject

10. Playing on Insecurities

11. The Silent Treatment

12. Passive-Aggressiveness

13. Being Dismissive or Diminishing

14. Treating You Like a Child

15. Blaming the Victim for the Abuse

16. Using Guilt Trips

17. Using Threats or Coercion

References 13: (Psychopathy and Crossover - Differences In The Brain - Read full essays)

Choosing Therapy - What Is a Psychopath? Definition & Traits

Brain Differences in Psychopaths

Differences in brain functioning could contribute to psychopathy as well. Experts suggest that psychopaths may have a restricted response to fear, which makes them more willing to engage in dangerous or embarrassing situations. Others suggest that functional differences lead to a psychopath having deficits in their ability to recognise and respond to emotional and social cues.

Not only are functional differences apparent, but psychopaths may also have structural abnormalities in certain areas of the brain that could result in signs and symptoms of the condition.

Brain scans show differences in regions including:1

Prefrontal cortex

Amygdala

Hippocampus

Temporal cortex

Choosing Therapy - Antisocial Personality Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, & Treatments

Choosing Therapy - Malignant Narcissist: Traits, Signs, Causes, & How to Deal With One

Choosing Therapy - Sociopath Vs. Psychopath: Understanding the Differences

Sociopaths are not necessarily violent, but they may use different tactics to cause harm. For example, they may use manipulation, gaslighting, or other forms of emotional abuse as their primary methods of hurting people.1 While they are less likely to be sadistic, they may still find it entertaining or exciting to cause drama, chaos, or confusion. Therefore, they are more prone to interpersonal violence than physical.

Another important difference between psychopaths and sociopaths is the reason for their criminal activity. Sociopaths may commit “crimes of passion” that stem from jealousy, anger, or revenge, rather than the cold-blooded, sadistic, or calculated crimes of a psychopath.

Psychopaths are believed to be born with certain genetic or neurological abnormalities that cause them to develop ASPD.1,2,5,7 This may also explain why they display more antisocial traits and behaviours in early childhood, while the typical onset for a sociopath may be several years later.

Treatment for Sociopaths & Psychopaths

ASPD is widely considered one of the most difficult disorders to treat. Because sociopaths and psychopaths have more severe forms of the condition, they often don’t respond well to therapy or other treatments. Their antisocial traits make them less likely to seek treatment on their own and can interfere with treatment when it’s mandated or required.

Choosing Therapy - Conduct Disorder: Definition, Symptoms, & Treatments

Tantrums, losing composure easily

Hostility and aggression

Pathological lying

Manipulation of others for personal gain

Substance abuse

Choosing Therapy - 10 Signs of a Female Psychopath

Female psychopaths often display different signs than their male counterparts, making them harder to detect. While they share traits like a lack of empathy and manipulative tendencies, female psychopaths are less physically violent and more likely to use relational aggression, deception, and emotional manipulation.1,2,3 Recognizing the signs of a female psychopath can help protect against their harmful behaviors.

1. They Develop Relationships With Their Victims

2. They Use Indirect Forms of Aggression

3. They Play the Victim Card

4. They Can’t Hold in Their Anger for Long

5. They Use Deceptive Tactics to Get What They Want

6. They Want Acceptance But Sabotage Relationships

7. They Leverage Secrets & Personal Information

8. They Get Other People to Do Their Dirty Work

9. They Are Emotionally Unstable

10. They Are Good at Pretending

11. They Don’t Care How You Feel

12. Their Charm May Chill You

13. They May Share Stories of a Checkered Past

14. They Act Out With or Without Provocation

15. Eye Contact May Be Surprisingly Elusive

Choosing Therapy - 15 Signs of a Sociopath: Traits & Characteristics

Choosing Therapy - Sociopath Vs. Narcissist: Understanding the Difference

What Is a Narcissist?

Those with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) possess a grandiose sense of self and a need for frequent validation and attention. Narcissists often have little empathy for others, respond poorly to criticism, and are insecure.

What Is a Sociopath?

Sociopathy describes individuals diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Sociopaths continuously disregard and violate the rights and feelings of others. Often, these individuals use manipulation tactics and antisocial behaviour to meet their needs.

Using manipulation and lying to meet personal needs and wants

Lack of remorse for their behaviours and any impact they have caused

Displaying failure to plan for the future and impulsive behaviours

Irritable mood

Verbal or physical aggression

Reckless behaviour and disregard for safety

Continuous irresponsibility and inconsistency in daily expectations

Methods of Manipulation

Narcissists and sociopaths use manipulation techniques for different reasons. Narcissists solely seek admiration and an ego boost, but sociopaths manipulate and exploit others for pleasure. For example, narcissists often employ tactics such as love bombing to control partners. Sociopathic manipulation is typically more subtle, calculated, and cruel.

Choosing Therapy - What Is a Narcissistic Sociopath? 10 Common Signs ***

A narcissistic sociopath is considered one of the most dangerous, psychologically disturbed kinds of people. Their complete lack of empathy and regard for the feelings or needs of other people makes them much more likely to act out behaviours that are typically considered wrong, bad, or even evil.4

1. Narcissistic Sociopaths Create Their Own Reality

Narcissistic sociopaths don’t see the world in the same way other people do. In their distorted version of reality, they are entitled to whatever they want, regardless of what it takes to get it or who is hurt in the process.4 They will justify their actions, even ones that are inexcusable, and show no remorse. A sociopath’s narcissism may also lead them to develop delusions of grandeur about being important, special, or exceptional in some way. Or, they can experience paranoid delusions that others are out to get them.

2. They Are Obsessed With Power & Control

3. They Take Advantage & Use Other People

Narcissistic sociopaths have a habit of using, exploiting, and taking advantage of others. This tendency shows up in all of their relationships, including romantic, platonic, or familial relationships they’ve been able to maintain. They seek out codependent, nurturing individuals who are more easily manipulated and controlled through guilt, shame, or fear, and will hold onto these relationships for as long as the person remains “useful.”4

4. They Have No Moral Boundaries

There are no lines a narcissistic sociopath won’t cross to get what they want. Their moral compass is non-existent, leaving them without the sense of “right and wrong” that most people have. After doing something harmful, illegal, or sadistic, they won’t feel remorse, regret, or guilt. In fact, they may even feel a sense of satisfaction knowing they were able to deceive, emotionally manipulate, or hurt someone.

5. They Have a Limited Range of Emotions

6. They Have a Huge Discard Pile

7. They Become Hostile When Threatened

8. They Feed Off of Negative Energy

9. They Get Bored Easily

10. They Are Empty Inside

How to Deal With a Narcissistic Sociopath

Dealing with a narcissistic sociopath requires setting firm boundaries, protecting your emotional well-being, and in some cases, seeking professional help. While no person is beyond hope, a narcissistic sociopath is unlikely to change, and experts recommend distancing yourself from their toxic behavior to avoid emotional and psychological harm. They can be dangerous, abusive, or violent, and should be avoided if possible.

Choosing Therapy - Vindictive Narcissists: 10 Signs & How to Handle One

10 Signs of a Vindictive Narcissist

Vindictiveness is a common narcissistic trait, but may become dangerous or harmful in severe cases. The more pathological a narcissist is, the more likely it is they’ll also display antisocial traits like a lack of empathy or a tendency to use, exploit, and abuse others. Vindictive behavior occurs on a spectrum that can range from cruel remarks and passive-aggression, all the way to the extremes of narcissistic abuse.

1. They’re Easily Offended

2. They Hold Grudges & Harbor Resentment

3. They Are Usually Angry or Upset With Someone

4. They Blame Everything on Someone Else

5. They Don’t Know How to Work Through Conflict

6. They Have a ‘Get Even’ Mentality

7. They Weaponize Information

8. They Belittle Others to Feel Bigger

9. They Have a Mean & Sadistic Side

10. They Use, Abuse & Then Discard People

Causes of Vindictive Narcissism

Narcissistic personality disorder is believed to be caused by a combination of genetic, environmental, and social factors. Certain research suggests that some people with narcissistic and antisocial personalities have abnormalities in parts of the brain linked to empathy, emotional intelligence, and impulse control. Others may be at higher risk for NPD based on their personality type and temperament

Triggers for Vindictiveness in Narcissists

Both overt and covert narcissists can be vindictive, but research suggests they may have slightly different triggers and motivations for seeking revenge. According to one study, ‘narcissistic rage’ (the projection of anger onto others) in covert or vulnerable narcissists is often triggered by abandonment issues and insecure attachment styles.

In overt/grandiose narcissists, triggers are commonly centred around competition, achievement, and failures that threaten one’s ‘God complex.

References 14:

Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Enablers: How to Recognise & Deal With One (read the full essay)

What Is a Narcissist Enabler?

Enablers are those who support and protect unhealthy people in ways that make it easier for that person to continue their destructive habits.

Some narcissistic enablers don’t just passively enable the narcissist. Instead, they actively adopt the narcissist’s harmful tactics, such as gaslighting, coercion, triangulation, and projection.3 These enablers use these tactics as a defense mechanism, often to protect themselves from the narcissist’s wrath or to stay in their favor. By mirroring the narcissist’s behavior, they become extensions of the narcissist’s abusive dynamic.

1. They Are Part of the Narcissist’s Inner Circle

Because narcissists are inherently self-centered, the only people who make it into their inner circle are those who can offer them something of value

2. Their Strengths, Talents & Resources Are Used by the Narcissist

Narcissists are usually very good at recognising useful traits in others and finding ways to benefit from them.1,3 For example, the narcissist might encourage an aggressive person to actively defend them or attack others on their behalf. Alternatively, an attractive person might be used as a “trophy” to boost the narcissist’s image or status. Or, someone with a strong social network or influential connections may be used by the narcissist to gain access to opportunities, resources, or relationships that serve their interests

3. They Subscribe to the Narcissist’s Deluded Version of Reality

Narcissists create distorted versions of reality that portray them as they want to be seen. In this false reality, they are able to pretend that they are more successful, beautiful, respected, or important than they actually are.

4. They Always Stand Up for the Narcissist

A narcissistic enabler will always come to the defense of the narcissist, no matter what they’ve done wrong. They might deny any wrongdoing, minimise it, shift the blame onto someone or something else, or make excuses for things the person said or did.

6. They Always Choose the Narcissist’s Side

In the narcissist’s twisted version of reality, they’re always right. This also means that anyone participating in their distorted reality has to agree to these terms and choose their side in any fight.1,5 The narcissist is hypersensitive and defensive, meaning that fights happen a lot–and when they do, the enablers will always be their loyal allies, no matter who the ‘enemy’ is.3 The enabler may even want to keep others away so they can be the person who the narcissist sees as their most loyal person.

7. They Put the Narcissist Before Themselves

Another hallmark trait of an enabler is the tendency to put someone else’s needs, wants, and feelings before their own.

8. They Mirror Some of the Narcissist’s Tactics

Some narcissistic enablers begin to imitate the narcissist’s toxic behaviors to support or defend the narcissist. These enablers don’t just passively allow the narcissist’s actions—they actively adopt similar manipulation tactics to help the narcissist maintain control or achieve their goals. This makes them nearly as harmful as the narcissist themselves, as they amplify and spread the narcissist’s tactics.

10. The Narcissist Is Their Drug of Choice

The narcissist’s drug of choice is external validation, but the enabler’s drug of choice is the narcissist.1 It can be hard to understand why someone would be so attracted to traits most people feel repulsed by–the narcissist and the enabler often have a deeply complicated relationship.

Why Do People Become Narcissistic Enablers?

Narcissists are notorious for using charm, manipulation, and coercive tactics to lure people in and convince them to do things for them.1,3They often target people who have low self-esteem, attachment trauma, codependent tendencies, or a history of abuse, because they view these individuals as being easier to control.5,6 Once they identify a victim, they may use love bombing, hoovering, guilt trips, and other abusive and manipulative tactics to recruit them as a narcissistic enabler.

They Feel Guilty or Bad for the Narcissist

Narcissists often portray themselves as victims or create situations where others feel responsible for their struggles. This triggers feelings of guilt or pity in the enabler, making them more likely to step in and help or protect the narcissist.

They Have Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem might partly explain why some people become narcissist enablers. Narcissists often use charm, flattery, and love-bombing tactics at the beginning of a relationship to get someone to bond closely and trust them.

They Have a Trauma Bond With the Narcissist

There is a strange psychological phenomenon called trauma bonding–this may also help explain why people become narcissistic enablers. Trauma bonding is a deep emotional attachment and loyalty someone forms with a person who mistreats or abuses them.

Keep your cool: Losing your temper or becoming emotional can undermine your credibility and leave you open to attack.

Don’t confide in them: Assume everything you say to the enabler will be relayed back to the narcissist, and avoid spilling any secrets you don’t want to be shared.

Set a boundary: Figure out what you’re comfortable talking about with the enabler (if anything) and set healthy boundaries by not discussing anything else with them, saying no, or ending the conversation if it becomes too heated.

Don’t enable the enabler: You might feel bad for the enabler, which can put you at risk for enabling patterns, including making excuses for their actions or putting yourself on the line to try to help or rescue them from their choices.

Ask the obvious: Sometimes, it’s appropriate to (politely) ask the obvious question: “Why are you the one talking to me about this?” which can reverse the dynamic and put the enabler in the hot seat for a moment.

**Refuse to talk to a middleman: If there’s an issue between you and the narcissist, try to resolve it directly, and refuse to pass messages back and forth through someone else.**

Try to have witnesses: Anyone acting as a narcissistic enabler probably doesn’t have the best intentions, which is why it’s smart to have witnesses who can verify what was said and done, making it harder for them to twist the facts.

Limit your interactions: It’s a good idea to distance yourself as much as possible from narcissists and the people who seem sworn to defend them, especially if they’ve become toxic, abusive, or begun to target you.

Go no-contact: Sometimes, it’s necessary to completely go ‘no-contact’ with a narcissist and their enablers, especially when there’s been a history of abusive behaviors.

Don’t feed their need for validation: One of the best ways to protect yourself from becoming a narcissist’s victim is to avoid giving them praise, time, or attention. By refusing to become a source of narcissistic supply for their ego, the narcissist is much more likely to lose interest in you and find another target.

Don’t look for validation from them: Seeking validation or attention from a narcissist is just as dangerous as giving it to them, and maybe even more dangerous, as it can indebt you to them and get you hooked into their control grid.

Don’t drink their Kool-aid: Narcissists can talk a good game, and many are charming, beautiful, successful, and likable… at least at first. Make a habit of looking beneath the surface when you meet people, and pay more attention to their character and integrity than the flashy things at the surface.

Try not to trigger their envy: It isn’t always possible to avoid making a narcissist jealous, but it’s definitely smart to avoid doing anything to intentionally compete with or ‘one-up’ them, as this will usually make you a target.

Don’t do them any favours: This last tip is one of the most important–do not do any favours for someone who has narcissistic traits and tendencies. As soon as you offer to help them with something, you open the door for future requests, which will almost always involve bigger and bigger favors.

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James Leighton-Burns

Everything - Writer - Story Drama - Psychology - Visual Media - Cyber Punk - Recommended Psychology Books - Psychology Education - Personal - Clients

Everything - Writer - Story Drama - Psychology - Visual Media - Cyber Punk - Recommended Psychology Books - Psychology Education - Personal - Clients